July 2

I'm trying not to think of far away places and the struggle of love over pragmatism and a young trashy looking blonde just did something I'll never forget.

She bought a box of Marlb 100s (editor's note: author currently posted in "smoke shop" section of Sex World, on the main floor, near the rear entrance) and a Hustler Humor magazine, saying she "loved the jokes." She get every ish, every month. And if makes me so happy to think of her at home, reading dirty jokes and laughing hysterically. She'll never know how happy that just made me. Such and old feeling and no one to toast it with.

5a: As pussy shit as this sounds, especially considering the environment, it's still true that Sarah McFuckingGlaughlin can reduce me to tears. Thank you very much New Orleans, Becca, Riddlin and booze!

I'm an idiot.

And it becomes clearer and clearer I can't stay here. Now when there's an exceptional life out there just waiting to be led.

I should shut up about this kind of thing.

7a: There's been a a lot of jawing on the walkies in the past hour. Mostly from Ben upstairs. He was going on and on about this Native American guy who was puking loudly in the bathroom. When he came out, Ben said he yelled at him (though I'm sure Ben probably yelled something stupid). The guy came down and Douglas escorted him out. Only when Douglas turned around, the guy sucker punched him. That's when Douglas went to town on that guy.

By the time I got over there, the guy was on the ground and Douglas was still kicking him. The look in his eyes was scary. Christian was right. Douglas may need anger management.

But since he beat that guy up, he's been a total lamb. I guess he got it out of him, whatever it was.

7:45a: A hamburger and fries just showed up. I think I'm supposed to eat it.

7:55a: Well that was the first cheeseburger deluxe plate I've ever eaten before 8am, and you know, what a phenomenon.

My body feels strange. I have a two hour old headache, my first dose of caffine beginning to take and now a very full stomach.

I've never lived like this. It's a different sort of gig. Selling porn and drugware all night, seeing a guy get beat up, using walkie talkies, eating free burgers for breakfast, smoking cigarettes in front of the registar, 10ing cigs, watching morning come to Minneapolis through a glass door.

It's all new. It's feels strange. The music and flourescents are getting to me. I need to shit. Summer 99. What an odd time...